AFTERTHOUGHTS

If the loving was as good as I pictured it countless nights how come your not here inside me still?
If the intensity was so powerful that the thought of you refuses to vanish why do these desires feel one sided?
If there were no ulterior motives why cant I get through to you?
never knew I could be so filled with lust
never thought any dick would bring out my inner "stupid girl"
 the amount of times i play back that afternoon you reminded me why i enjoy it from behind
oh how i miss your enormous hands
how they would grip my entire waist pulling you deeper into me
the way i obsess about the pleasure you so kindly shared with me 
its seems abnormal that i still believe we could do sooo much better 
as i lay here missing you i mentally jot down all the actions i would perform differently things i wish id applied more aggressively
like when you said "Im so good to you but your not good to me.."
I wish I'd licked you from neck to head
that night when it felt awkward to look into your eyes as i heaved my body up and down
i should've gotten up and sampled the fluids running down your shaft
but i didnt i was to scared...too shy
why? beats me
guess i shouldve had a shot or two
even wine would do 
guess you never ceased to intimidate me 
your confidence...its intoxicating
its grabs my attention and has yet to let go.